Picking up the Pieces After a Divorce
By: Joette Knapp
Looking at your life after an unwanted divorce is like looking at a house after a tornado. Everything is blown apart and nothing will ever be the same again. Every aspect of your life is affected! Your physical health, your self-esteem, your job, your finances, your relationships with others, your status as a couple, your relationship with your in-laws, your relationship with God, are just a few of the ways your life will change after a divorce. There are broken pieces everywhere and picking up the pieces after a divorce can seem impossible.
How does one pick up all those pieces and move forward when everything is so overwhelming? It’s not easy. But, the first step is to realize that even though you feel completely alone, you’re not. God knows the depth of your pain and He’s will give you the help you need.
Help will come in many different forms. Help will come from a trusted pastor who helps you through the initial shock. Or, help will come from a biblical counselor or coach who can help you through grief process and recovery. What you may not realize is that help will also come from friends or family who are willing to walk along side you. These people will be your life line.
When I went through my divorce I was devastated. We’d been married for nearly 19 years and I was happy! Then he left. I had no idea that our relationship had come to that point. We had two teenagers and I was a wreck. I could hardly breathe much less make meals and keep house. It was all I could do to go to work every day, but we needed that paycheck. I sought the help of a counselor who helped me get through those initial six weeks by reminding me of God’s great love for me – even when I’d been abandoned.
But the true healing started when a friend of mine showed me God’s love by being His hands and His feet. My dear friend decided that she was going to walk along side me and help me pick up the pieces of my life. There were many times when I’d find myself alone in the evening. The kids would often escape the pain in our home for the normalcy of their friend’s homes. I didn’t blame them.
But it was very lonely and I’d slip into a really good pity-party reliving the pain over and over. I knew I needed to call someone but I couldn’t make myself call anyone. And then the phone would ring and it would be my friend, “God told me to call you, are you okay?” Well, I wasn’t OK so she would either pray with me right over the phone or she would come over and we’d talk and cry and pray. She was my lifeline more than once.
During those days, I had difficulty falling asleep at night because the enormity of being alone to raise two teenagers would wash over me and I’d be almost paralyzed with fear. My dear friend would call me, make sure I was tucked in bed, and then we’d talk and pray until she knew that I was sleepy. She showed me God’s great love for me and my children.
God sent me help during the most devastating time of my life. Out of the ashes he created something beautiful. God can do that very same thing for you, too! He will send someone into your life to help you rebuild what was shattered by divorce. All you have to do is allow Him to begin healing you from the inside out. He is faithful! You can trust him. You don’t have to pick up the pieces of your broken heart alone.
Joette Knapp is a Professional Life Coach and part of the coaching team at Big Blue Couch™ Coaching. After surviving losing her first baby, and two devastating divorces, Joette turned to her faith and discovered that God can take the ashes of such life changing events and turn them into something new and beautiful. She is passionate about helping other women who are facing a divorce, and other life transitions, get through these bewildering experience and discover that there can be a great life on the other side. She is a mother, friend, and loving mentor to the Girls on the Big Blue Couch™ (and just happens to be Raychel’s mom!) Joette lives in North Dakota with her husband. She and her husband have 5 children between them and 5 grandchildren!
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